Wednesday, October 26, 2022


 Gender dysphoria is when a child wants to be the opposite gender.  When I was young, we had very well defined gender roles.  Girls played with dolls, wore dresses and were supposed to be dainty.   I was, none of the above.  I couldn’t see how pretending a doll was human, made any sense, I loved playing sports and with cap guns (with which my father who always wanted a boy, happily supplied me) and I hated dresses mostly because it was near impossible to ride a bike in a dress, or run around playing cowboys.  Even now at the age of 77, I always wear pants.  Of course, it’s more socially acceptable now!  As I grew older, I hated the feel of makeup on my face.  My mother tried to gently introduce me to makeup. I refused!  Even now, I wear no makeup!  When I was in the convent, I saw how lovely the Sisters looked with no makeup, so I saw no need for it.

       Finally, I told my mother I was planning to grow up to be a man.  My wise mother laughed and said, “you have no choice!”

       What the world associated with womanhood was makeup, dresses etc.  So I naturally, thought something was wrong with me.  So did my parents!  

     But when I matured, I fell in love with a super man and had a boy (who is adult now, of course).  He married and they had 4 children and we loved keeping the grandkids, overnight every weekend for many years and of course, spoiling them!  :). 

     What I had as a child, is what 80% of children get… “gender dysphoria”. It’s a stage most children pass through and probably partially due to the strict “rules” males and females are supposed to follow in our society.  Except now, should a child be suffering the very temporary condition, some parents allow the multination of their bodies and more.  It’s become a cash cow for providers of such surgeries.  But some institutes no longer do this type of surgery because studies suggest there is a higher rate of suicide among surgically altered individuals.

      Our gender is encoded in the DNA of each one of the 5 billion cells of our bodies.  That is unless the DNA can be changed, we are the gender we are born into.  Bottom line, I loved being a mother and grandmother and wife to my sweet husband (we were married 54 years until he passed away).  But I still wear pants and no makeup!  It’s called diversity of humans!

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Violence in Men?

 Stephen King wrote “There is a part of a man’s soul which is stonier.”

I saw a program about a hockey player whose daughter ended up murdering him.  The jury decided it was second degree homicide and she got very little jail time which the writers of the program disagreed with, saying “he was such a nice guy, liked by everyone…” etc.

I disagree.  The most gentle man can get violent…this was even true of  my gentle husband, who on the way back from the RR museum (which was boring to our son), parked along the freeway side, ripped the 5 year old out of the back seat and gave him a very hard smack on the face, telling him to “stop crying”.  I was shocked as I totally disagree with any violence with children.  Son was fussing…well he was tired and bored at the RR museum.  I was trying to talk him out of fussing and husband lost his temper and …  And he was about the most     non-violent man I’ve ever known.  My Dad was also very non violent and yet, one day when he was verbally fighting with my mother, he came out.  I was waiting for someone to take me to an orchestra concert.  Dad asked, somewhat accusingly, “Where did you get that dress?”  (My black orchestra dress). Mom was a bit worried at what he would have said so she told me to not tell Dad about it.  Not wanting to get my mother in trouble, especially after they’d been fighting, I told him that Mom had bought it with her money.  Dad’s reaction was to slap me across the face so hard that he broke my nose.  I was in High School and that was the first time he’d ever been violent with me.  So although the hockey player was a nice guy etc., I believe he DID get violent with his SO as she accused.  The writers of the TV show didn’t agree with the verdict of the jury which gave her a short stay in jail, but I agreed with the jury.  Because even with the nicest man, as Stephan King put it “there is a part of a man’s soul which is stonier,”

Thursday, October 8, 2020

O.J. Simpson - an American Tragedy

I just watched a TV show made recently, called. "OJ and Nicole: An American Tragedy".  I'm sure we all remember the football player, OJ Simpson and how he was accused of murdering his ex-wife and boyfriend.  This TV show, played the trial in which Simpson was accused.  He was later acquited because they had no evidence except a drop of Simpson's blood (he had a small cut on his finger and this was supposed to prove that he had committed a pair of very bloody murders???) and a pair of gloves supposedly left by the murderer which did not fit Simpson's large hands.  Evidence was brought forth that he had hit Nicole on some occasions but according to the photos of injuries, and considering what a strong man Simpson was, he had never delivered any serious injuries, not even bad bruises. We were never allowed to hear Simpson's side of the story.  They were divorced when the murder was committed and with a lack of evidence, Simpson was acquitted.  Later his ex-wife's family sued him for liability of the wrongful death of their daughter and sister and were awarded 33 million dollars to be paid by Simpson.  Simpson, likely broke after that, tried a robbery, was caught and went to prison for a few years.  What struck me was, if he hadn't been African American, he would have likely not been accused, let alone, instructed to basically pay what money he'd made to the family.  The show was biased against Simpson and even at that, I saw little reason why he was accused at all.  Bottom line, if he had not been African American, this case would have likely never gone to court.  I, even as a Caucasian person, am really weary of the ongoing prejudice against African Americans.  Because God made us in different colors?  Cut any of us open and we all look the same under the skin!  My heart goes out to O.J. Simpson.  Despite what was likely difficult odds, he made a great career and was a great athlete.  And got a raw deal as do many African Americans.  Like Martin Luther King's niece says "We are all of ONE race - the human race!"


Thursday, October 18, 2018

Preventing dementia and Alzheimer

Alsheimers and dementia are on the rise in our aging society, but scientists, not any closer to a cure, are focusing on prevention...which appears to a simply a healthy lifestyle with 150 minutes of exercise weekly, both cardio and resistance training, eating more veggies and less food with a high fat content, getting enough sleep, reducing stress, generally staying away from fast food and transfat....these things also are heart healthy and thus, one would wonder why we don’t hear this more often from medical providers....
Here is the link to the article....which is recommended reading...

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Marijuana not a safe drug, ongoing studies find

Ongoing studies find marijuana causes brain damage...
For those who think marijuana is a safe drug, a new article summarizes several studies, including one from 2016 which found that regular users suffered narrowing of the blood vessels to the brain, which could cause brain damage in regular users by slowing the brain’s flow...studies as early as the 1980’s found brain damage in regular marijuana users.
Article from the American Academy of Neurology in 2005....

Here’s the link to the recent article....

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Transgender? Johns Hopkins says biologically impossible!

"Lost in Transition" is a new show on TLC which follows several couples in long term marriages, in which the husband decides he's really female!  He then commences on a regimen of high doses of estrogen (which seriously raises the risk of breast cancer) and testosterone blockers, puts on heavy makeup and wigs etc.  The wives are all suffering... one lady says she fell in love with a guy and cannot stay with her husband who now thinks he's female.  Another lady is trying to stay with the marriage but having a rough time with it, and one of the other couples has decided to divorce if the husband "transitions".  All the wives are having a rough time with their husbands' transitions and the question lingers in my mind - "why would the husband do something like that, to the person they supposedly love and have committed their lives to?".

Statistics tell us that four times as many men, transition to females as do females to males.  Johns Hopkins medical institute reminds us that transgenderism is biologically impossible.

One question, often asked of these female wannabes, is "how long have you felt this way?"  Most of them say they had these feelings since childhood and their parents reacted in various ways.  Many parents were judgmental of their kids with transgender feelings, some becoming extremely punishing, applying the strap etc.  Which of course, did the opposite of what they intended.  The head psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins states that 80% of children have transgender feelings.  I remember I told my mother I wanted to grow up to be a male and she laughed and said I had no choice in the matter and that was that.  She was a very wise lady! 

All of these couples seem ignorant of the biological truth - that you cannot change genders because the gender is coded into all five billion cells of our bodies... simply put, in the DNA, males have an XY combination and females have an XX combination.

I have known several "transgender" males and they are still male... in their mannerisms, in the way they transact with other people, even in the way they cross their legs.

Let's look at a few "transgenders", I've known in the past.  One of them, a handsome young man, began calling himself "Alice".  I chatted with him and told him, "You know you are a handsome guy - why would you want to mutilate yourself?" Turns out, he hadn't thought he was handsome because he had a sensitive face etc.  I told him if I wasn't married, I'd go for him.  After several talks with me, he went back to being a male! 

Another, older gent, had fought in Vietnam and one order he was given was to blow away an entire village, men, women and children.  He came home and decided to be "transgender".  I asked him if it was that as a woman, he would never again have to face the horrors of war, and he admitted that was a large part of it. 

Another fellow, was confused because he was a sensitive, highly intelligent person who felt he was more female than male because of his interests.  But he felt male also and was attracted to females - he just wanted to fit in.  I had long chats with him also, assuring him that because of his very high level of intelligence, he would never fit in so he should simply deal with it.

Finally, another fellow I knew quite well, decided at one point that he was a woman - he was the owner of a bike show I frequented.  He ended up dying of breast cancer a couple of years after he "transitioned", a result of the large amounts of female hormones required in male to female trangenders.

Bottom line - these individuals, usually sensitive artistic types, need to be chatted with and reassured that instead of mutilating their bodies and dressing in costume, they should understand and celebrate the concept of human diversity.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Care giving and me

My hubby by Feb 2014, had had 3 strokes. He had lost some brain and could no longer drive, but still was a great best friend...we’re in our 51 year of marriage and both are 73 years old... what he didn’t tell me was he was suffering a lot of angina, like for 2 hours at a time. Finally, diabetic and like many men, non compliant to a healthy diet and exercise (he hates veggies and loves fast food and although he was about 30 lbs overweight, he could get away with things like pizza etc, which I hadn’t been able to eat since High School) ... I have a weak gall bladder and a hiatal hernia and a hereditary condition called eosinophilic esophagitis which causes immune challenge and narrowing of the esophagus.... He seemingly got away with his less than healthy lifestyle...he first experienced erectile dysfunction in 1994 which the doctor laughed at and offered him, Viagra...(great for a diabetic prone to heart disease right...😩😩) ED is actually was the first symptom of vascular disease and CAD... no medical provider ever warned a toe turned black in 2016, we were totally unprepared for what was to the ER, they gave him a heart cath test (I later found out that when there is blockage in the legs, there is likely blockage in the heart - another thing no one ever warned me about) and announced to me that he needed a quadruple coronary bypass! Imagine my shock --- he walked into the hospital and seemed "OK".  *sigh*  They also did a popliteal to femoral bypass in the left groin and amputated 3 toes. He came home for a couple of days in the end of February, 2016 but with no wound care, so he came down with septicemia and osteomyelitis and back to the a toe on the right foot turned black!  He lived but was 8 months in the hospital and came home sort of a different person...even his voice had changed, was more high pitched, probably from intubation...and I was thrust into the role of caregiver and had no clue how hard that would be! Not only losing my best friend but tons of work, living with being very tired etc.and grieving the life we had together only a year previously.  He came home from the hospital in November 2016 and I am just getting over the grieving. The shock of a new life in the last few months...very difficult...probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life but I AM feeling better now and enjoying life more...I suffered depression though, for a long time. I want to write about this because no one prepares you for things like this, and least of all, the medical profession.  I watch TV with him...he’s lost large parts of his brain so I have to explain the story on TV to him often ...I do my workouts...40 minutes a day or 50 minutes and that’s my “me” time, important for care givers. I take a short drive in the car also some days, errands but also "Me time". I sneak some therapy in for him, like hugs for his upper body (he loves that), making him walk to the kitchen, he uses a walker, for his meals, changing his “briefs” while he’s standing up and I do have a CNA come in twice a week to give him a “bed bath.”  I take it a day at a time...sometimes an hour at a time...all we can do. Caregiving is hard! But there is life after the first difficulties.  We even go out together on mobility scooters (those are really nice) and his favorite outing is a scooter ride ending up in a fast food place (what can I say... he still loves fast food... I have been on a low fat diet since 1994 so I don't indulge except an occasional Wendy's junior frostee -only 165 calories and yes, I count my calories daily to keep my weight down - am 9 lbs below my WW goal and about 11 lbs higher than what my physician wants but frankly I don't think I'll ever get down there again. The current WW program doesn't work for me.